With vast hearts open wide, we dutifully search for that one person who attains the fierce ability to knock the broken wind out of us and breathe new life into our tired, painfully strained limbs. It's seemingly impossible to define using something as simple as words for tools, for love is active. Every girl has a different vision of what love should look like, however, we are united in our collective craving for this elusive, difficult-to-express-without-sounding-like-an-eighth-grader's-LiveJournal-entry thing we call LOVE, right? As girls, we are told to view love as an impossibly pretty image of a white picket fence in an affluent suburb. There are supposed to be visions of business suits and perfectly coiffed children in our heads. Girls are supposed to boast a multitude of Pinterest boards made up of puffy white gowns.
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Often when people want a new relationship, they either look for someone to complete them or they imagine sharing their life with someone just like them. So they try to present themselves in the best possible light for their imagined future partner—either as one perfect half of a whole or as an ideal version of what they believe their future partner will want. In my experience, finding your soul mate requires a different, far more soul-enriching approach. Here are six steps that worked for me:. I decided to turn my attention inward—to get to know and accept myself , to heal past wounds, and to explore and develop new parts of myself. Previously, I needed to be with someone in order to feel content, to have someone love me in order to feel loved.